Vagina Monologue

I was required to do a vagina monologue for a class - this is what I came up with!

I’ve been responsible for many things in my life: receptacle for the penis, lubricator, stimulator, a birth canal, holder of the G-spot…

I have been called many things in my life: who-who, yo-yo, toolbox, velvety box, muffin, oven, penis trap, pussy, twat, cooch, cookie, slit, crotch, …

I have provided many things in my life: a path for babies, a path for menstruation, a path for pleasure in my owner, and a path for satisfaction of my owners’ friend…

Although I have been so much more and called so many more things, I am hurt by all the negative things that happen to me.

Why is it that I am forced to have a cold set of jaws pushed into me once per year? How is it normal that I occasionally have to succumb to this abuse twice when something is “abnormal”?

Every single month I am forced to house a cotton thing for days on end with no reprieve. I hate this way of life. I am called names, I provide pleasure and yet, I am abused.

When I am tired and don’t feel like getting wet, jelly is replaced for the natural thing. How can this be normal? What if I just don’t want to house that thing you force into me? What if I just want a gentle touch? Give me a break, won’t you?

I discharge, have a problem with that? It’s a normal thing. You try to be dark and moist all the time, you’d discharge too.

I smell sometimes. It’s normal. I can never be completely clean. It’s normal to have bacteria. As most of you know, bacteria tend to have a smell.

Why is it important for you to exercise me? Really, I’d like to just be left alone. They call this exercise the Kegal exercise. I hate it really. I mean, whoever thought that a vaginal barbell is comfortable. Leave me alone, my muscles will stay firm.

Ok, there’s just something not right about not having hair. Whoever thought it was important to shave my soft tender outer area? Who are we pleasing? I kind of liked having hair there. I definitely don’t like to have it dyed, painted or removed by waxing. This is just too close for comfort, if you know what I mean.

I do get sores. It’s not my fault. Have you ever thought of wearing looser pants or how about being picker about your date, for goodness sake?

One last thing, sometimes the medicine you take and the food you eat causes me to itch and not feel so hot. Please take care of me as quickly as possible. It’s important that I continue my job.

So, what do I like, you may ask. I like to be touched. I like a little pressure but not too much. Penetration is not necessary for me to feel good. Toys are good, oral is better. I like to feel good. I provide so much, it can’t be too much to ask. Play with me.. softly.. I'll respond just as you hope.

I’ve been played with, stared at, talked about, but yet I continue to be talked about like I am a bad thing. I just want to be called beautiful and treated like I am worth something. I am beautiful. I provide life and I provide pleasure. I am like chocolate, eat me and you’ll feel good all over.

*** OK, ladies.. we should love our little "love baskets" a little more! I had fun.. It was definitely a challenge but once I got going, it wasn't difficult.. After all.. vagina's are all around us.